I've been thinking about a cot

There's probably research supporting or refuting the claim that's to follow, but I'm pretty sure my in-the-field data is probably more accurate. Anyway, here it is:

Pregnant women snore a lot.

During Chris' first pregnancy with Jack, I worked nights at the World-Herald. I'd get home around 2 and would typically be in bed shortly thereafter. I reached a point with a month or two left that climbing into bed with Chris at that point was ... well, pointless.

First off, she was taking up the whole bed. I would, too, were I the first one in bed. Second, she was sleeping deeply and snoringly. A nudge here, a poke there, a foot in the back ... no dice.

If I was going to make a list of the sounds I'm most annoyed by, snoring would be second. First is sniffling your nose constantly instead of just getting up and blowing it (thanks, Mom!). Snoring probably wouldn't be so bad, except it typically happens when you're trying to sleep. At that point, everything is annoying.

When we hit that magical point last time, I just set up shop in the spare bedroom. The sleep was restful and wonderful.

Typically, when it's bedtime now, Chris is exhausted. Teaching all day and wrangling a 4-year-old is tiring enough, but doing it with a baby using your spleen for a speedbag probably takes a bit more out of you. So when she hits the pillow, she's done. (Her fall-asleep record is just shy of one minute.)

And that takes me back to the claim up top: Pregnant women snore a lot.

I don't begrudge her right to fall straight asleep and get that nice, deep, restful sleep — not even a little bit. She needs it. She deserves it.

But while I'm typically cooked at the end of the day, too, it sometimes takes me a bit longer to fall asleep. Like, maybe five or 10 minutes. And it's hard to do that when you're beaten to the punch by the exhausted pregnant lady who, quite amazingly, is snoring within a minute of hitting the pillow. Seriously, it's impressive.

Basically, instead of relaxing when I get into bed, I'm racing to get to sleep. That's not really how it should work. On nights when I have writing to do and stay up later, I've been going straight to the couch. It seems to work - I go right to sleep - but I wake up sore. You know, because I slept on the couch. Why not the spare bedroom? That's going to be Stegosaurus' room. And right now, it's more like a big pile of things.

We have nine weeks left. (Note to self: Finish baby's room.) And contrary to what you've heard, the no-sleep thing then isn't really that bad. I'm sure it will be tougher with big-brother Jack in the mix, though.

If nothing else, maybe I can set a new go-to-sleep record. I promise not to snore.